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Pearls of Wisdom


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Note: These are not homespun pearls of wisdom, these are machine fabricated from space-age polymers. Do not take orally.

Did you know?...According to the Daniel Bester Accademy of Clothing Identification, suspenders are in fact nothing more than a weak form of overall.

Chedder is perhaps the most evil cheese in the world, for it constantly taunts the other cheeses by saying the phrase "Chedderis better" over and over and over again. It's driving the Fetta mad.

Cornucopia does not actually mean "Horn of Plenty," but rather plenty of corn.

Did you Know? All the golfballs in the world, if collected in one jar, would require a very large jar, probably bigger than any jar you've ever seen.

Did you know? Bivalves are not called bivalves because they have two shells, but rather as a subliminal ploy by the valve industry to get consumers to purchase more valves.
Although peices of literature such as Beowulf, Murder in the Cathedral, Metamorphasis, Emma, A Tale of Two Cities, Jane Eyre, or The Illiad have been read over and studied for years, or even centures, it does not change the fact that they're boring, obtuse, and painful to read, and of no real value to anyone in the real world.


There are two things that men want: their own ejaculation in the birth canal, and neurotoxins prefereably in the form of beer.

Did You Know?...the Pope does not actually have a big hat, just a really deformed head.

In a perfect world, carrots would be green. Wait, did I say perfect, I meant different...damn, you know who sucks...Jet Li!

Instead of The Mile High Club...there should be a Mile Low Club, because coal miners deserve to have some fun too.
While many people would claim that the Hagia Sophia is one of the world's greatest works of art and architecture, it is in fact actually one of world's most badly designed camping tents.

VoxHumana: Funnier than Your Dad!