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VoxHumana
The Book of VoxHumana

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The Book of VoxHumana

A Factual Account of One Troupe's Journey

c.15,000,000,000 B.C. -The Big Bang happens, causing the universe to come into existence.

c. 6,000,000,000 B.C.-The Earth is formed from the particle cloud surrounding the sun.

c. 3,000,000,000 B.C. -The first life, simple prokaryotic cells, form in the oceans of the Earth.

c. 3,000,000 B.C.-Austrolopithicines, among them Lucy, become the first bipedal primates.

c. 100,000 B.C.-First Homo Sapiens appear distinct from Homo Erectus.

c. 10,000 B.C. -Agriculture is developed, enabling the creation of the first sedentary human civilizations, which grew up in north-eastern Anatolia and the southern Caucasus.

c. 5,000 B.C. -The Sumerian civilization begins along the banks of the Tigris and Euphrates river.

21 October 4004 B.C.-God finally gets around to creating the Universe.

1066 - William, Duke of Normandy, stubs his toe on the cliff of Dover.

24 October 1648 -Treaty of Westphalia ends the Thirty Years War.

1944, Max Jacob, author of Saint Matorel and Le Defense de Tartufe dies.

1978-1981 A.D.-The four eggs and four sperm that will eventually become each member of VoxHumana are united in the uterus of each member's mother. The zygotes become embedded in the uteran wall and eventually gestate. Thus, the four members of VoxHumana came into this world.

May 1984- Scott and his friends attempt to play "Star Wars" but fail when all the children involved demand that they get to be Han Solo, in an episode very reminscent of the time they all wanted to be B.A. Barakas while playing "A Team"

May 1984 - Karalyn is photographed for the first time holding a baseball bat with a pouty expression. Many such expressions follow.

February 1986- While creating Valentine's Day decorations in her school class, Brandie colours a heart design yellow. She is quickly confronted by her teacher who explains to her that despite the fact that the heart is an abstract figure, it has to be coloured red. Brandie remembers this absurdity and later vows to rebel against convention in her creative works.

October 1986- In the great toy collection debate, Jeremy chooses his side: The Transformers, and forgoes GI Joes for the rest of his childhood.

January 1989- While leaving the bathroom, late one night, Jeremy turns off the light and sees two red eyes starring at him from the outside the window. Jeremy's dad attempts to allieviate his son's terror by explaining something about light and color contrasts. Jeremy remains frightened of windows to this day.

September 1992- Brandie lands a spot on the middle school cheerleading squad.

December 1993- While at a stoplight, Jeremy's dad explains the practical meaning of what the "Social Contract" is and how it relates to everyday life.

August 1995- Jeremy and Scott meet at Davidson Fine Arts Magnet School. Within minutes they vow to destroy each other. Many epic battles ensue.

September 1995- Jeremy appoints himself Treasurer of the "I Hate Scott Birdseye Club." He is later impeached for corruption and graft.

April 1997- Brandie and Scott meet by chance and bond over making fun of a mutual aquantance's use of his geometry teacher as masturbatory fantasy materia. They taunt him and his girlfriend with a sign that reads "Tell her about Ms. Groves, Beat Off Boy"

March 1998- While at UGA, Scott begins work on the sketch comedy material which will eventually become recognized as totally unfunny, dated and uncreative. It is abandoned forever.

May 1998- Jeremy and Scott are reintroduced through mutual friends of Jeremy and Brandie. In a message symbolic that their highschool difficulties are past, Jeremy nobly concedes that Scott's van is "Pimpin'" Jeremy later wins a Tea Drinking Contest at TGIFridays.

May 1999- After viewing Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Jeremy begins wearing his hair like Qui Gon Jinn. Scott does not don a Jedi hairdo, but he and Jeremy do wage a pretend light saber battle with local drag queen and performance artist Claire Storm.

Summer 1999 - "Jim Rosen Lives" appears all over Augusta, GA. Chad Cole is blamed.

July 1999- While sitting at the front booth, second from the window, at the Pizza Joint, Jeremy and Scott begin brainstorming the material that will eventually become VoxHumana. Among this early material are the basis for future sketches including "Goth Model Airplane Builders" and "My Pal Pol Pot"

August 1999, using junk collected from dumpsters, Jeremy and Scott create a seven foot model of a futuristic spaceship, which cost virtually no money, therefore proving they are capable of producing better films than "Astrobots." After vewing the spaceship, Godfather of Soul, James Brown, humbly bows before Jeremy and Scott in a display of humility.

September 1999- Brandie and Scott begin working on material yeilding much that is not funny. However, a few gems manage to sneak out. The list of potential sketches grows ever larger, approaching double digits.

May 2001- The script of "The Grunion" is completed. It is the first VoxHumana script. Key characters such as The Programmer and The Assistant make their first appearance. Other scripts soon follow. Jeremy first hears of Karalyn's ideas for a movie based on the life of the Chick Tracks guy. Jeremy graduates from NYU with an incredibly useful degree in Jazz Performance.

June 2001- After rejecting the name "Jack and Rodger's Happy Fun Time Hour" Jeremy mentions the name VoxHumana, a refrence to the Jeanane Garafalo's "Feel This Book" VoxHumana is born. The first VoxHumana website also debuts. At this time, Jeremy begins his first writing attempt, the as of yet uncomplete "Your Liver Thanks You." VoxHumana's first public performance, Scott's rendition of "The Papal Love Song" at the Soul Bar's poetry slam gets rave reviews from those in attendance.

July 2001- Karalyn joins VoxHumana, becoming its fourth member. The triumverate of Scott, Jeremy and Karalyn spend a drunken week brainstorming, and forming the ideas which will guide VoxHumana throughout its long lifetime. Jeremy and Scott perform as 1/2 of VoxHumana, at the Soul Bar's poetry slam, doing a live version of "What the Sensative Guy is Really Thinking" While they escape being lynched, they are burned in effigy, and learn some valuable lessons on the nature of performing comedy live.

August 2001- While Jeremy continues work on his script, Karalyn quickly writes up two of her own, establishing herself early on as a major player with the VoxHumana creative process. However, her script "Dark Incontinent" is abandoned. Along with "Goldhummer" it becomes one of VoxHumana's Lost Episodes.

March 2002- "Your Liver Thanks You" is finally completed, although Jeremy remains unsatisfied and vows to continue work on it.

July 2002- The DomHumana is founded in Queens, New York, and becomes the Center of all VoxHumana related activities.   

 

STAY TUNED: MORE SHALL BE RECORDED

VoxHumana: Funnier Than the Language Aquisition Device.