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The Zeppo

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Scott G. Birdseye

Character Type: Ineffective Wizard
Homeland: The Hills of Durgon
Weapons: The Sword of Glavgar, enchanted dagger, cloak
                of  invisibility, cloak of revisibility, Amulet of
                Infinite Croutons.
Special Powers: Keen sense of smell, ability to converse
                 freely with donkeys, eels and wombats.
Hit Points: 2
Health: 21
Charisma: 1
Strength: 1/2
Knowledge: 2
Culinary: 15
 
Background: Scott was born to a farmers family, however, his physical imperfections caused him to be left in a jar to die on the hillside on the outskirts of the village. But, the gods were with him, and he was rescued and subsequently raised by a she-wolf, or possibly a prostitute, depending on your translation. He eventually went on to found the city of Omaha on the Seven Lack of Hills in Nebraska.  
 

VoxHumana: Funnier than the Second Graders of PS 149.